


Star Crashed Lovers

by Le_purple



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alien/Human Relationships, Aliens, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Crash Landing, Hispanic Character, Humanstuck, Latino Character, M/M, Mexican Character, Mexico, Single Parents, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Sopor Slime, Troll Biology (Homestuck), Watching Someone Sleep, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:15:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23651428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_purple/pseuds/Le_purple
Summary: Farm rancher Tavros meets Gamzee, who is 'spaced-out' in more ways that one.
Relationships: Gamzee Makara/Tavros Nitram, Rufioh Nitram & Tavros Nitram
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	Star Crashed Lovers

Tavros ushered his hens up to the top of the coop, gently patting tail-feathers until he could close the hatch.

"Night ladies!" He chirped, stepping back on some noticeably squishy hay and cringing. Looks like he would have to change their bedding. But it was 8PM and that was a tomorrow job, to be done tomorrow.

He grabbed the pen door by the chicken wire and locked up the coop after stepping out, manoeuvring through the pitch-black darkness of his dads small ranch until he could find the door to his house, the lit up windows serving as a pretty good beacon.

"Ay, shoes off, Tavros." A voice reminded as he got a few feet inside.

"Ok dad." He sighed, bending down and slipping off his work shoes and putting them to the side.

"Hey, look at me," Rufioh said, Tavros looking up at his dad, who was brandishing a mop. "You drag chicken shit in here, you clean it up."

"Yeah, dad." Tavros chuckled, heading over to the staircase.

"Good night mijo! Thanks for locking up the chickens!"

"Night dad!"

Tavros headed upstairs into his room and practically flung himself onto his bed, not bothering to turn on his light. Usually after working all day he would take a shower or something, but he really couldn't be bothered, kicking off his pants and socks before just laying on top of his blanket, letting out a deep sigh. He paused for a second before rolling over on his side, grabbing his DS from his bedside table, booting up Pokemon Platinum to do some grinding before going to sleep.

It was pretty peaceful; Tavros alone in his room in the middle of nowhere, the only noise in his ranch away from the city being his DS, his dad watching TV downstairs, his dogs snoring, and the huge crashing noise that shook the earth beneath him.

"What the f-" Tavros practically fell off of his bed, quickly pulling on his jeans and scrambling out his room and downstairs, greeted by the sight of his dad basically doing the same thing, only holding a shotgun.

"Dad? What was-"

"Don't worry about it mijo, just go to your room, I'll check it out." Rufioh warned, worry clearly printed on his face.

"But the noi-"

"Tavros! Room. Now." He ordered. Tavros shrunk back and bit his lip, turning around and running upstairs, the boy able to see his dad shut the door on the way out but not bothering to lock it.

The boy rushed into his room and flicked on the lights, making a beeline to his drawers and opening the top one, grabbing his phone on the way. He rummaged around for a few moments through old trinkets and keepsakes before wrapping his fingers around a heavy, cold metal object; the Swiss army knife his dad gave him for his 10th birthday. Tavros stuffed the item in his pocket and ran back downstairs at the same speed he had ascended, slipping on his shoes before rushing out the door himself.

Outside was dark, but Tavros could see the distant light, and hear the growl of his dads motorcycle, which quickly got further and further away as he made his way to the forest, where the light of what was presumably fire glowed from within. Luckily the forest was a good distance away from the ranch itself, but whatever had crashed there was a problem.

Tavros had a lot more upper body strength than leg strength, the boy only able to build up muscle down there a few years after recovering from his accident; but he _darted_ in the forest's direction, running as fast as his body could take him. His feet thundered on the grass beneath them, driven by both curiosity and fear as he found the forest getting closer and closer. His dad had already climbed off of his motorcycle and began scouring the forest with a torch in one hand and a shotgun in the other, Tavros obviously unable to match the speed of the vehicle on foot, but still keeping up a good pace.

Breath burning his throat, Tavros doubled over at the edge of the forest, panting loudly and trying to get his legs to stop shaking. He dug around in his pockets and extracted his phone and Swiss Army Knife, promptly pulling out the penknife section and turning on the flashlight on his phone before stepping in between the thick forest.

The trees were tall and the forest was dense, Tavros taking great care not to trip over bushes and tree roots, or get stabbed in the knee by stray branches. Even though he tried his best to be as quiet as possible, as to not alert his dad, Tavros couldn't help the snapping of twigs or his footfall on leaves, deciding to move quick and agile rather than being slow and careful. It was difficult for the boy to navigate, both due to the fact that he only had his phones flashlight to guide his sight, as well as having no clue what he was actually looking for.  
He assumed that it was just some Americans dicking around in the woods again, probably camping, doing drugs, or some messy combination of the two.

His ears pricked up at the sound of twigs snapping and he stood still, noticing a few birds flying away from whatever was in the east, flying like their lives depended on it. Tavros decided that it was a good sign and began going east, listening out for any other noises. His heart raced in his chest, half out of anticipation for whatever he was looking for, and half out of not wanting to be caught by his dad.

What was he even going to do once he found them? Ask them 'politely but firmly to leave'? Call his dad and get in trouble? Just kind of watch from the shadows like some ghost?

Just as he was about to turn around and leave, Tavros caught a hint of that glow he had noticed from his window, the boy turning off his phone's flashlight and following the glow instead. Despite how bright it seemed from his house, the glow was fairly gentle, Tavros only able to follow the direction from the way it glared in his eyes. Suddenly there was a loud clatter of metal and a strange sounding cry, Tavros hesitantly picking up the pace until the glow evened out and he could see the source of the light.

It was a strange hunk of destroyed metal, with blinking lights and smoke arising from the wreckage, loose, frayed wires crackling as an unearthly green ooze leaked onto the dirt.

"Uh...Hello? English?....Español?" Tavros called nervously, peeking through the trees and holding his penknife close to his chest.

There was another clatter and an even louder yelp, which sounded like a man swearing in some language Tavros had never heard of, with guttural clicks and creaks.

"Do you need uh, a doctor?" He asked.

"Nah man I think I'm good." A deep voice drawled.

"AAAAGHSDFGHKL-" Tavros screamed and fell back, quickly cupping his hand over his mouth and looking around. That's when he saw him stand up.

He was tall, almost taller than Tavros, but with a stringy and gangling frame. His skin was a light grey, almost white, but his face was covered in grey and white makeup around his mouth and eyes and marking circles on his cheeks, and he was covered in that green slime. He had messy black hair with untamed curls wildly swirling around his head with two twisting orange horns emerging high up. His hair covered parts of his strange ears, which were long and accented with odd purple fins, the same kind of fin which fanned out from what appeared to be gills on his neck. In fact, the creature had quite a few of those purple fins, protruding from his elbows and through a specially cut slit on the back of his black shirt, stopping just beneath the end of his shoulder blades. Tavros couldn't tell if he had any on his legs though, which were clad with baggy purple and white polka-dot pants.

"You good?" He asked, Tavros able to see his misshapen, crooked white fangs as he spoke.

"Y-I-What?"

"Damn bro, you look like you all up an' seen a ghost."

The creature extended his hand-or paw-which had dark pads all over the palm, and orange claws with barely a trace of fingertips. Tavros hesitated before taking his hand, finding himself being pulled up with surprising strength, almost stumbling forwards into his chest.

"Woah there, need a minute? You look like you've had a little too much Faygo."

"I-uh-I'm sorry but-um-who are you? Where are you from? What is that thing? Are you-" Tavros found himself silenced by a claw gently placed on his lips.

"Shh...chill it speed racer. I'm Gamzee....I can't remember what I'm meant to be doing here." He idly licked some of the slime off his cheek with a disturbingly long tongue.

"What's th-what's that goo?"

"This? It's sopor slime! It's so fucking good-it's motherfucking miracles brother!" Gamzee said, starting to salvage some of the slime, scooping it up in his arms and even recovering some strange purple pods which oozed the green goo. Tavros did not know if it was poisonous to humans, or even the entire Planet Of Earth, but he sure was going to find out with the way Gamzee languidly slung it around.

"I-uh-"

"So what's your name anyway brother?" Gamzee asked, sitting down on a sheet of metal, Tavros taking the cue and sitting next to him.

"Uh-Tavros. Tavros Nitram."

"Well hello Tavros Nitram! I'm Gamzee Makara!"

"You, uh, said already."

"That is probably correct, bro." He admitted, blank smile still printed on his face. "So like, wanna hang? I got more than enough slime to share."

"Well, uh, actually, I'm kinda not allowed out here. My dad wanted me to stay in my room while he looked for the cause of this huge crash, but uh, it turns out that it was you. So if he finds me, I'll probably be in huge trouble."

"How come? You seem old enough to be all up and able to meet a brother out here."

"When I was younger, I uh...kinda got pushed down some stairs...a lot of stairs, by this girl, and I couldn't walk until I was like 14, so I guess he's still kind of protective. I mean I have only been walking again for like, 3 years." Tavros explained, a little taken aback by how quickly he opened up to the alien.

"Really? 3 years? How did you survive? On my planet you would've been killed as quick as anything." Gamzee said, astonished.

"That's...wow, that's, uh, kind of harsh. I mean it took a couple years for me to get spinal surgery, my dad had to save up, but after that I just had to do physiotherapy for a while".

"That is crazy! But like, in a good way."

"So...did you _escape_ your planet or something? It doesn't seem like a very nice place to, uh, live."

"Nah, I think I was sent here...to.....HUNT! Yeah, to hunt, I remember now."

"To-to hunt?"

"Yeah! It's like a coming-of-age ritual for us trolls. We get sent to some random planet to kill 4 members of the dominant intelligent species, and we have to bring back their heads as trophies, but I guess there's no way for me to bring back anything now huh?" He gestured to the wreckage of his ship.

"Wait, like humans? Like me?!" Tavros blurted, tensing up and suddenly feeling so much more uncomfortable, holding his knife a little tighter.

"I guess."  
Tavros blinked, suddenly very much more grateful he had the penknife. Gamze didn't _seem_ like a threat, especially doped out on the...sopor, was it? What would happen if he ran out? Would he kill him, or was he just generally like this?

"So...what were you going to do, if you, uh, actually landed I mean."

"Probably the same thing I'm doing now. Probably with a lot more ship left."

Tavros chuckled but suddenly heard cracking, and was reminded that he was in the middle of a dark forest, chatting with a high alien as his dad ran around looking for him with a shotgun, who could find him at any second.

"Well, uh, it's been nice talking to you, but I _really_ need to leave before my dad finds me."

The cracking continued, and Tavros looked around, suddenly realising that it wasn't stopping and wasn't going to, and it came from underneath the wreckage. Without thinking, Tavros grabbed Gamzee's arm, the slime smearing all over his hand, and he ran through the woods towards his house. Gamzee stumbled as Tavros dragged him along, trying to make sure that none of the slime spilled on the forest floor.

There was a loud and deep bang as the wreckage exploded into fire and shrapnel, Tavros and Gamzee even able to feel the shock wave.

"Motherfuc-" 

"FUCKING GRINGOS!" Rufioh yelled, the voice way to close for comfort.

"Who was that? He sounds scary." Gamzee asked, Tavros still pulling him along as he ran.

"Uh-that's my dad."

\--

Tavros swung Gamzee up into his bedroom before slamming the door behind him, immediately slumping down against his door and gasping for breath, while Gamzee, not even out of breath, looked around his room in awe.

"Is this your respiteblock?"

"Uh-hah-yeah? I think? This is where I sleep if that's what you-huhh-mean?"

"Aw sweet, where's your recupracoon all up at? I need somewhere to dump my slime."

"Recu...I...hah-I sleep in a, uh, bed." He pointed over to his bed before grabbing his laundry basket, tipping out the shirts and socks and the like, kicking them away on his previously clean carpet and holding out the large, white tub. "You can just put...put it in here, so I can hide it from my dad easier."

"So who is my dad anyway, I keep hearing you mention them but I ain't got one motherfucking clue who they are." Gamzee asked, dumping all of the slime in the tub before Tavros hid it under his desk.

"No-I mean...my dad, my father, the guy who raised me. His real name is actually Rufioh, but he doesn't like me calling him that because it's kind of disrespectful."

"Oh! So like, your lusus?"

"What's a lusus?"

"Brother, that is about the saddest thing I think I've ever heard. You're depressing my motherfucking aurals up in here."

"So is it like a parent or-"

Tavros stopped himself, listening out and hearing the distant hum of a motorcycle, the noise getting closer every second.

"Oh fuck."

"What-"

"My dad."

"Wow, what kind of lusi is he to be making those kind of growls?"

"He's the same species as me?"

"Damn, you really do be motherfucking aliens."

"Ok, uh, you need to hide, like, right now. I don't really know how he would react to an alien in his house."

Tavros heard the familiar rattling noise from downstairs of the door was open and shut again.

"We need to be quiet now, he's here." Tavros whispered.

"Ok bro, where do you all up and want me to hide?"

"Ay mijo! You all right?" Rufioh called, Tavros biting his lip and looking at Gamzee, who watched him intently with his goat-like pupils.

"Uh, yeah dad! Hide in here." He opened his closet door and began to move around clothes so Gamzee would fit.

"Sorry about yelling at you earlier I just-" There was a loud gasp. "My _floor._ "

"Fuck-get in!" Tavros blurted, ushering him into the large closet, long horns almost grazing the wood.

"Shit, ok brother."

"Wh-what's this green shit? Tavros?"

"Shiiit!" Tavros realised that Gamzee had been less than tidy with the slime, getting it on his hands, shirt, carpet, and just about everything else.

"Tavros!"

"Dad!" Tavros burst, slamming the closet shut and giving Rufioh a wide 'nothing to see here' smile.

"Why is there green shit all over the floor? You know I just cleaned it-what even is-"

"Sowhatwasthatnoisedad?"

"It was like a car wreck or something-but what-" Rufioh paused, hearing something sneeze in the closet. "...what was that?"

"PSH! What was-what was what?"

"Tavros."

"I mean I'm sure it was nothing-"

" _Tavros._ "

"I..." Tavros paused before hanging his head and opening the closet, Gamzee just there, smiling awkwardly.

"Hey."

"WHAT THE FUC-"

Rufioh practically back in shock, raising his fists defence.

"Ok so, I know it seems weird-"

"So you're...'Rufioh'? I think? Is that right, or are you just my dad?"

"This is happening. There is a goddamn alien in my house."

"-But I went to see what that noise was in the woods and I met Gamzee-"

"Damn, all you're tall, and muscly. Human adults look so motherfucking wild. Will you look like this when you're an adult, Tavbro?"

"There is an alien hiding in my sons closet, and this is real."

"-but he doesn't really seem to want to kill us, well not now that his ship is uh, crashed, so I guess he has nowhere else to go?"

Rufioh pinched the bridge of his nose and sat on Tavros' bed.

"They didn't...they didn't tell me that this was going to happen on any parenting forums." He sighed, looking over at Gamzee.

"I...uh, think you've got a mirthful hive here, my dad." Gamzee said awkwardly, Tavros practically slapping himself with how hard he face-palmed.

"Uh, yeah...So, Gamzee, you crashed here?"

"Yep."

"Is there going to be a fleet or something coming to Earth to like, kill us all?"

"Hmm...no more than usual I guess. The other trolls will probably assume I was weak and got captured and motherfucking lobotomised or whatever humans do to us when we get caught."

"I can't believe I'm gonna say this..." He mumbled, mulling something over in his head before standing. "....Gamzee? You can stay."

"Aw sweet, thank you brother."

"Thanks dad." Tavros sighed, Rufioh smiling at him with soft eyes before turning to Gamzee with a stern expression.

"But! I've got to set some rules so things don't go apeshit here." He began, speaking with the certainty of an army commander but still in his own relaxed tone. "1, don't break anything. 2, please warn us about any weird alien shit, so we can clean it up or try to help. 3, you will work with me and Tavros on the ranch, don't worry, it won't be difficult. 4, and this is important: please don't wander off without me or Tavros nearby because I don't know how others will react to an alien....And I think that's it. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, don't break shit, make sure to tell you about my shit, work the shit, and don't walk off and do shit. I'm on the motherfucking ball, don't you even worry about it my most mirthful of brothers."

"Alright, good. I am now going downstairs to reevaluate my life and make myself hot chocolate." Rufioh announced, exasperated. He trudged out of the room and shut the door, leaving Gamzee and Tavros together.

"So that didn't go quite as bad as I thought it would." Tavros sighed, slumping down on his bed and finally relaxing, Gamzee sitting next to him and leaning with his back against the wall, horns scraping off a little of the paint.

"I think it went pretty motherfucking great if I do say so myself." Gamzee drawled sleepily, laying down next to Tavros and instead scraping his horns against the wooden headboard.

"Wow, it's almost amazing how you haven't broken a horn yet, or at least chipped them."

"Damn right brother, it's a miracle!" He chirped, smiling again and showing his many teeth.

"...but, I think we need, uh, better sleeping arrangements. You're probably going to destroy my bad and impale me while you sleep." Tavros laughed nervously.

"Oh, yeah..." Gamzee agreed, a little disappointed but going along with it as Tavros began to organise pillows and blankets on the floor.

"You can move the pillows and stuff to whatever makes you the most comfortable, I, uh, don't really know how alien spines work."

"It's all chill bro."

Tavros began to undress before going under his sheets in just his underwear, throwing his shirt and pants on the floor and hitting the lights, all the while Gamzee just watched him in awe from the pillow and blanket pile.

"'night Gamzee." He said quietly, nuzzling down into his pillow.

"G'night Tavbro."

There was a pause.

"Uh, Gamzee?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you, uh, stop staring at me? It's making it kinda hard to sleep."

"Oh, right, right." Gamzee muttered, closing his glowing yellow eyes, pupils wide in the dark.


End file.
